Wedding Day Guide

The months of planning are now over and one of the most important days of your life is about to begin. We have already covered the roles that the various people play and the following is a guide as to how they will fit in and how the day should go.

The ushers will need to arrive at the church about 30 minutes before the wedding is due to start so that they are there when the first guests arrive. They should hand out the order of service sheets and show the guests to their seats bearing in mind that the bride’s family and friends sit on the left side of the church and the groom’s family and friends on the right. About 20 minutes before the start of the ceremony, the groom and best man should arrive. This will give the best man time to pay the fees to the minister. They both sit in the front pew on the right hand side of the church. The bride’s mother travels to the church with the bridesmaids and remains with them in the porch until the bride arrives with her father, usually about 5 minutes before the start, although tradition has it that it is the bride’s prerogative to be late. However, do bear in mind the fact that the photographer will want to take photographs before the bride enters the church and there may be a service shortly after if it is a busy and popular church. One of the ushers will show the bride’s mother to her seat and this is a signal to the congregation and the organist that the service is about to begin. The bride takes up her position at the entrance of the church and proceeds to walk down the aisle on the right arm of her father with the bridesmaids following. Once her father has safely delivered her to her future husband, he takes up his seat next to his wife. It is then that the service begins. After the vows are taken, the best man hands the ring(s) to the minister before returning to his seat. They are then pronounced Husband and Wife and they traditionally have their first kiss as a married couple. As the minister proceeds to the altar, the couple join him for prayers which are then followed by a hymn and the final blessing before the couple go to the vestry for the signing of the register in the presence of two witnesses. After leaving the vestry, they proceed down the aisle with the bride on the husband’s left arm. They are followed by the bridesmaids and page boys, the chief bridesmaid and the best man, the bride’s mother with the groom’s father and the groom’s mother with the bride’s father. It is usual to have a photo session before driving off to the reception.

The civil ceremony in the register office is much shorter and takes 10-15 minutes. Licensed venues offer more opportunity to have readings and music. You are also already at the venue for the reception and they can provide accommodation for your wedding party.

Music may be played before and after the ceremony if you wish. Your choice may include an orchestra, a piano recital, a singer, a band, quartets and so on, to enhance your wedding ceremony. Religious content is not permitted at Civil Marriage Ceremonies. The bride may come down the aisle to the traditional Wedding March. Alternatively, the Register Office may design you a unique wedding ceremony and arrange all the choreography. If you have any doubt about the suitability of your readings or choice of music, please consult the Superintendent Registrar in advance.

Where to hold the reception is, perhaps, one of the most difficult decisions to make. Depending on your personal choice and your budget, you can choose from a wide range of venues such as a grand ballroom in a prestigious hotel, a marquee in the grounds of a stately home, a boat moored on your favourite river or an intimate restaurant which may well bring back memories. Easiest to organise is probably the hotel as most of the facilities will be available as a matter of course. However, it is a good idea to have a meal there before booking and do have a good look around. The hotel manager or wedding co-ordinator will be pleased to show you not only the venue, but also the accommodation should you or any of your guests decide to stay overnight. Outside catering is a little more difficult. You will need to employ a reputable catering company and do check what you are getting for your money. Ideally, you will need a company which supplies the crockery, cutlery, table linen, cake stand and knife, chefs, waitresses/waiters and tastefully made decorations. This will ensure that you do not have to pay for those ‘add-ons’. Decoration is an important part of the reception. The hotel will often recommend local companies who are able to add a little extra to the proceedings such as balloons. The actual style of the meal depends on what you feel comfortable with. It can range from a very elegant stand up affair with champagne and canapés, a formal silver-service sit-down meal or a beautifully presented buffet. A seating plan is essential for a sit-down meal, but a reasonable amount of thought will be required to ensure that the guests are comfortable with each other. Remember, they have put themselves out to look smart for the occasion and some will have travelled considerable distances in order to help you celebrate your big day. A little consideration, therefore, with the plan goes a long way. In addition, you will need place cards and, as a gesture, it is customary to reward your guests with a small gift or favour. Do remember to give a copy of the seating plan together with the place cards to the organiser. That person will then ensure that the place cards are put in the order you would like people to sit.

Tradition has it that at the end of the meal, but before the cutting of the cake, come the speeches. The toastmaster or best man will ask for silence and the bride’s father will then propose the main toast to the bride and groom. This is followed by the groom’s speech in which he proposes a toast to the bridesmaids. The best man then replies and reads any emails and cards sent by absent relatives or friends. Following on from this, the toastmaster or best man will announce that the bride and groom are about to cut the cake. However, you may find it less boring for your guests if the cake is cut after the main course but before the dessert. The caterers can then slice the cake and have it ready to eat with the champagne when the speeches are being made. This prevents long pauses where your guests have to amuse themselves.

It is normal for the bride and groom to be the first to leave the reception. If the bride has not already thrown her bouquet away, she can do so now. Their departure is announced by the best man.